My Sunday Post


I love you.


Sigh: An Illustrated Post





New | Not-so-new Site

It’s funny. I’ve moved to a new site a long time ago and imported my content there and yet I get feedbacks from my friends why haven’t I updated this site for so long.

Click here to visit The (not-so-new) Kooky Jar.

Dear Friend,

Seems like there’s a lot to think about today.  I’m leaving this busy city tomorrow and head home for a week – before I begin my studies again.  It’s been a crazy ride, you know?  In the past one month and a half, I think I grew up more than I’ve ever had in the previous year.

I’ve learned many things.  I’ve learned more about religion, about money, about people and new skills and interests.  I think you’re doing fine there too — I know you are.  You’d light up the darkest places with your cuteness and charm.

So how are you celebrating the big day?  Sorry I can’t send any presents over this time — I haven’t really had the resources to do so.  But know that I’m thinking of you, okay?

Sometimes I wonder if you’d be proud of me.  For the little things that I’ve done, for stepping out and do what I want to do.  Or perhaps you may think I’m silly for walking out of track all the time.  Then again, I know you.  You’d be proud.  You’d be proud if you knew what I’ve been through regardless of the times I’ve screwed up over and over again.

On your special day, I just want to wish you the best in all that you do- that you may thrive in His glory and be that person you’ve always wanted to be.  It’s also on this day that I must say, I need to let you go.  As a matter of fact, I think you’ve done that a long time ago.  I’m the late bloomer, as always.  I don’t contain any negative feelings – because that’s not what real friends keep.  I’ll always be around, perhaps one day our paths will cross again but as for now, I’ll just dedicate this post to you — in case you might read it.

Happy Birthday, you.


I’ve Left The Teen Building

Today, I’m no longer a teenager.  Perhaps I could write a long entry reminiscing about the past 20 years, and then declare my resolutions as I venture into my new journey of adulthood.

But I won’t.

This year, I’m just grateful.

* * * * * * * * * *

Thank you for the cross Lord
Thank you for the price You paid
Bearing all my sin and shame
In love You came
And gave amazing grace

Thank you for this love Lord
Thank you for your nail pierced hands
Washed me in Your cleansing flow
Now all I know
Your forgiveness and embrace

Worthy is the Lamb
Seated on the throne
Crown You now with many crowns
You reign victorious
High and lifted up
Jesus Son of God
Darling of Heaven crucified
Worthy is the Lamb
Worthy is the Lamb

* * * * * * * * * *

There’s a reason why you and I are still here today.

It’s the same reason why I believe.

Too Hot To Handle

My Vaio has fever.

I’m not kidding! It’s sick and it’s cranky — the left side overheats, my sound card creates buzzing noises, and the graphics on my laptop doesn’t display properly from time to time! It’s like a sick baby with really bad fever, cough, flu.. etc. Even the graphics on my Firefox seems laggy!

How how how how?!!!

Okay, for all you anti-Sony Vaio people out there, spare me the whole “Sony is not good” lecture because you can keep your childish rants to yourself. It has served me well all three years, churning great designs for all you people too. It didn’t have problems within the months or even days I bought it, unlike some cases that I know of. This is the first.  THE first.  And I’m freaking out.

I ran a few anti-virus scans and no virus was detected – which is not surprising because I always make it a point make sure there are no funny stuff hidden within. So I really think it’s a hardware problem.

It’s still usable, I can still go online and all, and even use Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator – but to use such programs I’ll need to give it a break in between to avoid overheating again. There was once I was in the middle of something and the whole thing just restarted all by itself!  I think my heart stopped for a whole two seconds when that happened.

Thank God the holidays are so near so I can send my baby for some serious repair soon – but in the meantime, can you pray with me that my baby will be able to faithfully display my lecture notes and let me use Illustrator just for the following couple of weeks? There are a few REALLY important things which I need to settle.. such as my exams… Please please please….

Yes, this is a desperate kooky speaking.

In-Between Seconds

“Buka puasa?” (Break fast?)

It’s an overused line for the season.  Kooky can’t help but use that each time she asks people out for dinner.  It just fits the mood, for the month at least.

It was just a few hours ago, on the same day that Terri, Marty and Kooky met up for really late supper aka really early morning breakfast.  It’s always hard to tell if it’s around 3am.

And then dinner.  Somehow, their presence seem comforting.  Terri has the most innocent soul of knowing the oddest things, while Marty is.. just Marty.  He ate rice and three pieces of chicken fillet with just a fork.  Terri did the usual, she chewed at least twenty times before she swallowed her food.  From the entire tray of delicious chicken curry, she chose the tomatoes that were practically camouflaged under all that curry and ignored the obvious.  Oh, and she downs an average of 2 oranges a day too.  Kooky, on the other hand, ate like a bullet train, as usual.

After a hearty meal, Kooky walked Terri back, and hung out in her room for a bit.  It felt really good to be there.  To be away from the computer, from work, from endless emails.  Terri shared some old photos of her and her older sister, which really struck a chord in Kooky’s heart.  You see, Terri’s sister is studying medicine in a nice little island with sandy beaches and clear-water seas and in those photographs, she looked genuinely happy with the wide smile and squinted eyes.  No one would know that she is suffering from arthritis.  No one would know if she was in any pain at all.  She didn’t need anyone to.

“She always has that burst of energy, doesn’t she?”

“Yes she does!  You’re both very alike, actually.  Always upbeat and positive about things.”

Kooky smiled at that comment.  Yet she was thinking to herself, ‘The way we smile in photos?  Maybe.  But she’s way stronger than I am.  I’m not down with any illness nor pain, yet sometimes I find it hard to cope when things get too hectic.  We’re not alike, but I definitely want be more like her.’

As she reached her own room, she looked at the pile of things on her table.  Work that needs to be completed.  Which reminds her, one of her group members have yet to submit his part for the report due tomorrow, though he promised he would by tonight.  Luckily there’s plenty of time tomorrow morning to complete it.

Kooky chuckled as she realized the thoughts that have just ran through her head the moment she entered her room.  She stared at her desk once more, and smiled.

There’s always a survivor inside of us.